Home PageLinked In IconGooglePlus IconFacebook IconYouTube Icon              Call us at 360-574-7477

Cosmetic Dentistry

Cosmetic Dentistry

Power Bleaching, Lightening Teeth

Porcelain Crowns, Bridges, Inlays & Veneers

Lava All-Ceramic Crowns & Bridges

Zirconia Crowns, Bridges, and Implant Posts

Digital Color Matching

Personalized Dentures, Hidden Anchors

Silver vs. Composite, Porcelain and Gold for fillings

Invisalign Orthodontics

Implant Dentistry

What is a Dental Implant?

Dental Implant Placement is easier thank you might think

Dental Implants,

Affordable Mini-Implants

Implants to Anchor Dentures

Implants to Replace Teeth

Mini Implants

What if you have your Teeth Extracted?

Healing Dentures Placed After Extractions

Advances in 3D Implant Design

General Dental FAQs
Dental Emergencies, Toothache, Swelling, Broken Teeth, Injury

Occlusal Guards for clenching and grinding

Economics of Oral Health

Oral Surgery

Sensitive Teeth, Sensitive Fillings

Acid in Food and Beverages Can Harm Your Teeth

How Often Do I Need a Cleaning?

Gum Disease & Heart Disease

Occlusal Guards for Clenching & Grinding

Information for New Patients

New Patient Information Forms (PDF)

Free Sonicare Toothbrushes for New Patients

Floss to Live Longer - Really!




8615 NE Hazel Dell Avenue, Vancouver, WA  98665

(360) 574-7477


Dental Humor & Anecdotes

Disclaimer -  this is a collection of stories presented for entertainment only.  Some of the stories are based on published journal articles, some are purely fictional, and any material involving people has been altered to protect their privacy.

  • The cutest dental emergency of all time - An 8-year old girl was brought to our office for a dental emergency.  I asked a staff member what the symptoms were, and they said "just take a look in the waiting room."  The little girl was playfully running in a circle around the room with a bicycle streamer stuck between her front teeth.  The mother said that her husband "just jerked it out the first time it happened", and I replied that we would find a gentle way to take care of it.  The streamer had a spiral-shaped metal spring, so we simply turned it like a screw to remove it.

  • No charge for this extraction! - An elderly gentleman who spoke broken English came in with a very loose tooth, explaining that he had tried to remove it himself but it was just too painful.  After determining that the tooth had lost nearly all bony support from gum disease, we numbed it up and allowed five minutes to complete anesthesia.  The patient discovered that he was numb enough to wiggle the tooth out himself, so he made a quick exit out the back door without saying anything!  We heard some of this, and made it to a window in time to wave goodbye.  We figured that the patient probably had a financial hardship, so we never billed him.
  • What is this ringing in my head?  A gentleman had a ringing sound in his head, that occurred only when he was running.  He was bothered by this, and went through several years of psychotherapy with no improvement.  A dentist told him that a stainless steel crown on a lower molar was leaking, and that he should replace it.  Tooth structure inside the crown had decayed, and dissolved away, leaving a large space inside the metal shell of the crown.  A small filling had been placed in the tooth before the crown was placed, and the loose filling in the tooth rattled around like the striker in a bell.  The tooth was restored with a new crown and the ringing was cured.  This story was printed years ago in the Journal of the American Dental Association.
  • A patient called from Palm Springs to complain that she had a toothache, and that the dentists there all had Mercedes in their parking lots, and they were too expensive.  Sure enough our fees were substantially lower.  Within a few days, a staff member received a vintage Mercedes from her husband as a gift, and I began to worry about people seeing it in our parking lot every day.  I offered to buy a NOTDOCS license vanity plate for the car, but so far the staff member and her husband have turned me down.  We keep a paper copy of the plate on the wall so people get the message when they look out our windows at the car.
  • We don't need to brush! -  While still a dental student, I took a walk and encountered three little girls playing with a ball.  The ball got away from them, and I retrieved it.  We played ball for a few minutes, and the conversation turned to Halloween coming up soon.  One of the girls said she wanted to try leaving candy in her mouth all night, and I told her that was a bad idea, likely to cause cavities.  She said that you don't need to brush your teeth, and that her friend only brushed her teeth the day before visiting the dentist, and she never got cavities.  When I disagreed she said "How do you know".  I said "I am a dentist", then the girls dropped the ball and ran away.
  • Be sure to hide the cupcakes from Mrs. Collins. - I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so we published a recipe for volcano cupcakes on an internal web site that works like an office manual.  I was supposed to be on a diet, so we asked that no one tell Mrs. Collins.  We handed the recipe out to many patients, friends, and even Mrs. Collins mother, yet she did not find out for several years.  I will never have another woman, but I had a diet on the side.  Bake these cupcakes and everyone will worship you.  Bring them to our office and there will be a reward.

Appointments & Hours


Office Directions

Reviews from Patients

Portrait of Keith W. Collins, DMD

Keith Collins,  DMD

Dr. Collins graduated from Oregon Health Sciences University in 1978.  In addition to caring for patients in private practice, he has enjoyed lecturing and contributing to dental journals.  In 1995 he co-directed the AAID Implant Maxi-Course at OHSU. 


Click here for more info on Dr. Collins.


Click here to "Meet Dr. Collins" on YouTube.


Click here to see Dr. Collins work with the American Dental Association and the Partnership for a Drug Free America on YouTube. 


Click here to see the meth mouth story Dr. Collins produced with Inside Edition.


The information provided on this site is to help educate patients, and is not intended as a guide for self-diagnosis or treatment.  Please rely on your dentist for diagnosis and treatment of oral conditions.


Dental Humor & Anecdotes


Send mail to with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright 1995-2013, Keith W. Collins, DMD    Last modified: October 31, 2014.