8615 NE Hazel Dell Avenue,
Vancouver, WA 98665
Dental Humor & Anecdotes
is a collection of stories presented for entertainment only.
Some of the stories are based on published journal articles, some are
purely fictional, and any material involving people has been altered
to protect their privacy.
The cutest dental
emergency of all time - An 8-year old girl was brought to our
office for a dental emergency. I asked a staff member what the
symptoms were, and they said "just take a look in the waiting room."
The little girl was playfully running in a circle around the room with
a bicycle streamer stuck between her front teeth. The mother
said that her husband "just jerked it out the first time it happened",
and I replied that we would find a gentle way to take care of it.
The streamer had a spiral-shaped metal spring, so we simply turned it
like a screw to remove it.
- No charge for this extraction! - An elderly gentleman who
spoke broken English came in with a very loose tooth, explaining
that he had tried to remove it himself but it was just too painful.
After determining that the tooth had lost nearly all bony support
from gum disease, we numbed it up and allowed five minutes to
complete anesthesia. The patient discovered that he was numb
enough to wiggle the tooth out himself, so he made a quick exit out
the back door without saying anything! We heard some of this,
and made it to a window in time to wave goodbye. We figured
that the patient probably had a financial hardship, so we never
- What is this ringing in my head? A gentleman had a
ringing sound in his head, that occurred only when he was running.
He was bothered by this, and went through several years of
psychotherapy with no improvement. A dentist told him that a
stainless steel crown on a lower molar was leaking, and that he
should replace it. Tooth structure inside the crown had
decayed, and dissolved away, leaving a large space inside the metal
shell of the crown. A small filling had been placed in the
tooth before the crown was placed, and the loose filling in the
tooth rattled around like the striker in a bell. The tooth was
restored with a new crown and the ringing was cured. This
story was printed years ago in the Journal of the American Dental
patient called from Palm Springs to complain that she had a
toothache, and that the dentists there all had Mercedes in their
parking lots, and they were too expensive. Sure enough our
fees were substantially lower. Within a few days, a staff
member received a vintage Mercedes from her husband as a gift, and I
began to worry about people seeing it in our parking lot every day.
I offered to buy a NOTDOCS license vanity plate for the car, but so
far the staff member and her husband have turned me down. We
keep a paper copy of the plate on the wall so people get the message
when they look out our windows at the car.
- We don't need to brush! - While still a dental
student, I took a walk and encountered three little girls playing
with a ball. The ball got away from them, and I retrieved it.
We played ball for a few minutes, and the conversation turned to
Halloween coming up soon. One of the girls said she wanted to
try leaving candy in her mouth all night, and I told her that was a
bad idea, likely to cause cavities. She said that you don't
need to brush your teeth, and that her friend only brushed her teeth
the day before visiting the dentist, and she never got cavities.
When I disagreed she said "How do you know". I said "I am a
dentist", then the girls dropped the ball and ran away.
- Be sure to hide the cupcakes from Mrs. Collins. - I have
a bit of a sweet tooth, so we published a recipe for volcano cupcakes on an internal web site that works
like an office manual. I was supposed to be on a diet, so we
asked that no one tell Mrs. Collins. We handed the recipe out
to many patients, friends, and even Mrs. Collins mother, yet she did
not find out for several years. I will never have another
woman, but I had a diet on the side. Bake these cupcakes and
everyone will worship you. Bring them to our office and there
will be a reward.